DEFUND Vacuous Slogans

Description

This is not your daddy’s social justice shirt! For those that didn’t pay attention in fifth grade, “vacuous” means “producing a loud sucking sound, devoid of substance or meaning.”

If you’re sick and tired of vacuous slogans being shoved down your throat by vacuous people and a corrupt, vacuous media, this HATESHIRT is for you.

Now, if you dare to wear this HATESHIRT, people may ask you: “Which slogans do you consider vacuous?” (Or some less-articulate equivalent.) Or they may just attack you with feral, zombie-like fury. In the case of the former, you could answer with something like the following. This is an actual exchange that our founder, Frank G., had with a Progressive zombie on a crumbling sidewalk in Newark, New Jersey:

zombie: Hey, hey! What slogan is vacuous, man?

Frank: Well, “BLACK LIVES MATTER” is fairly vacuous.

zombie: What you mean, vacuous?

Frank: I mean, devoid of meaning. Meaningless. It means nothing. It is semantically equivalent to a loud sucking sound.

zombie: But black lives matter!

Frank: To whom do they matter? They don’t appear to matter to the blacks who are throwing them away by resisting lawful arrest.

zombie (showing fangs): What?

Frank: Do black lives matter the same way that Brawndo has electrolytes?

zombie (leaning in, beginning to drool heavily): What? Man, what you tryin’ to say?

(This exchange continued, until the zombie began screaming and slobbering and Frank discreetly melted into the gathering crowd of onlookers.)